


you think you're smarter than me with all your bad poetry

by orphan_account



Series: errorist [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: "Not Caring", Another pitiful attempt at Denial of Feelings, Drabble, M/M, Pining, tjeffs needs to get his shit together too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-09 10:00:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7797442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hamilton’s smile used to reach his eyes.</p><p>	Hamilton zoned out more than he used to.</p><p>	Hamilton began handing arguments to Jefferson instead of fighting for them tooth and nail, just so he could dart out of the room, looking distracted. Probably something to do with that Schuyler girl or Laurens.</p><p>	These, of course, are just a couple things Jefferson had picked up on for the past few months. These, of course, are also just a couple things that Jefferson does Not Care about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you think you're smarter than me with all your bad poetry

Hamilton’s smile used to reach his eyes.

 

Hamilton zoned out more than he used to.

 

Hamilton began handing arguments to Jefferson instead of fighting for them tooth and nail, just so he could dart out of the room, looking distracted. Probably something to do with that Schuyler girl or Laurens.

 

These, of course, are just a couple things Jefferson had picked up on for the past few months. These, of course, are also just a couple things that Jefferson does Not Care about.

 

You see, not caring and Not Caring are two completely different things. If you don’t care, then you genuinely do not care about the subject, however if you Don’t Care, you have a unending, internal scream constantly going because you care about it so so much but you cannot or will not show it. Or both, in Jefferson’s case.

 

So, yes, Thomas Jefferson spends most of his time Not Caring about Hamilton while he’s sure Hamilton doesn’t care about him.

 

It was _toxic_ , it was _painful_ , and it was most certainly going to be the _death_ of Jefferson.

 

Huh. He always knew Hamilton would be at the root of his demise.

 

Jefferson is willing to admit that he’s a pretty good-looking guy -- after all, he worked hard to achieve the body he has now -- so he could get anybody he wants with a wink and a sway of the hips. So, why does he feel _guilty_ for having one-night stands? For pursuing anything romantic with anybody else?

 

It’s not like he’s dating Hamilton. But perhaps...perhaps that isn’t such a horrendous thought.

 

There it is, yet another thing that Jefferson tries to Not Care about as the man in question yells at him.

 

The oddest thing happens then, though.

 

Hamilton’s words trail off, lacking the emotion that had been there only moments ago, and his face draws horrifyingly blank. Like he’s hurt but trying to cover up. Like his mind is elsewhere.

 

It’s so odd and awfully uncharacteristic of Hamilton, but it’s gone as soon as it appeared, and he’s already back to shrieking Jefferson’s ear off.

 

Jefferson still can’t wrap his mind around this development but tries his hardest to keep the argument how they used to, back-and-forth and merciless from both ends. Hopefully, the familiarity will help Hamilton snap back to his old self from when he was so full of passion and a willpower to fight for everything.

 

It doesn’t. He storms out of the room instead of debating to the very last second, Jefferson left to watch in his midst.

 

What the fuck happened to Hamilton to make him this way?

 

The question almost causes a pang of sympathy to strike right to his heart, which he immediately brushes off with a quick, dismissive ‘ _My heart’s just tryna kill itself at even so much as the thought of Hamilton.’_ A wave of déjà vu hits him yet he doesn’t question it, just waves it off and moves on with his thoughts.

 

Who caused this change? Was it Eliza? Was it John? Was it Maria? Was it _Jefferson_?

 

He ignores that last one. 

 

He ignores the pang of sympathy. 

 

He ignores his feelings.

 

But, most of all, he ignores Hamilton.

 

Because this is their relationship. This is what they created out of nothing. This is what they _are_. This is what Hamilton wants so this is what Jefferson will settle for.

 

Because he does Not Care about Hamilton. He does Not Care about that stupid fucking hair that he would love to run his hands through and pull at desperately with his tongue hot on Hamilton’s neck, he does Not Care about that dumb fucking face that he’d love to wake up next to, he does Not Care about those calloused fucking hands that he wants all over his body as soon possible.

 

He does Not Care about any of that utter bullshit, but, just in case, he rants to James Madison about it for the rest of the day.

 

Just in case.

**Author's Note:**

> hi!!!! heres a tjeffs sequel!!! EDIT: just kidding im leaving this series as it is, third part be damned,,,i like this "unrequited" pain as it is  
> 


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